It’s an app. (Android.) And it swears at you when you click on it.

Best comment:

The best app that has ever been written It won’t stop swearing, even in silent mode, and exiting the app. I consider this a feature, and not a bug.

And right behind it:

Brilliant…except when it doesn’t close and randomly issues expletives from your pocket as if phone had tourettes.

I’m going to get this today. (Despite comments from Himself Upstairs: “Have you heard yourself? You’re a New Yorker. You don’t need an app for that.”)  :)