Diane Duane

A little science. A little magic. A little chicken soup.

More suck: Writer Gets Conjunctivitis: Throws Massive Strop, Declares Sale Day At Ebook Store

ETA: Sale extended for one day (per numerous requests) because IT GOT MY OTHER EYE. Also: see link to disgusting picture below. Peter snuck up on me in bed and shoved the camera in my face and WHAMMO. God, I look like the eye on top of the pyramid on the dollar bill. Except it looks way better.


I hate being sick generally. (It’s all true about [even former] nurses being terrible patients. Even more terrible than doctors, probably.) I’ve had a cold for the last few days (it’s Peter’s: I mutated it a bit — what else would I do with a disease but tinker with it). I’ve been drinking tea and feeling my lymph nodes and sulking and doing all the things one does at such a time, when they feel their medical knowledge should by rights protect them from the smaller indignities of life.

Around eight last night I started feeling like I had something in my left eye. That there’s-an-eyelash-stuck-in-there feeling: you know the one. I had just had some ramen with wasabi in it and I kind of laughed and thought “Right, maybe I got some wasabi up there.” Funny.

By about midnight it was becoming plain that wasabi was not the issue. The upper eyelid was swelling.

4 AM I woke up and asked Peter (in his office working, he’s the Owl in the Owl Springs Partnership) if he’d wander downstairs and make me a hot pack with a washcloth and a Zip-Loc bag. I was thinking maybe I had an inflamed tear duct or something. Got some relief from the pack, turned over and tried to sleep a bit.

8 AM … went to take care of things and look in the mirror…

This was definitely nothing to do with wasabi. NOT AT ALL. (sigh)

(Normally the understanding is “Pictures or it didn’t happen.” Forgive me for not posting something here that would, as Hawkeye once said, “put you right off your french fried lobster.” (ETA: Well, he took a picture anyway. I’m beginning to regret showing him how to use Tumblr.) Peter took one look at me and said (torn between awe and pity, since when I look awful I look really awful), “I don’t think I want to go to the pub with you tonight. The neighbors might think I punched you.”) …So what have we got? Sudden-onset eye irritation, swollen upper or lower lid (both in this case, we do nothing by halves around here), incredibly bloodshot sclera, at the same time as a cold? Snap diagnoses: Viral conjunctivitis. OH JOY.

(BTW: What you can’t see here is me stopping every five minutes to put a cold pack on my eye, or wipe the constant tearing out of the bad one so I can see to type. I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS SO MUCH.)

So. Measures taken: In-house hygeine alert, as this this is incredibly contagious. I become a pariah in my own home. All towels, facecloths, and other impedimenta in contact with me become untouchable. Mild saline solution prepared to cleanse eye. Aspirin taken. Cold packs prepared. Sticky note on monitor says (in large letters easily visible to nearsighted woman without glasses) DO NOT TOUCH YOUR OTHER EYE STUPID, NO NO NO. Husband warned to treat me like a walking case of Ebola (because, though he is a truly ownderful person, he is also, if at all possible, even worse as a patient than I am.) (But oh God, no cuddling, no, argh, no anything really until I cease to be infectious. This sucks unusually hard. DAMN YOU ADENOVIRUSES!)

And: to cheer me up, because I could really use it: I hereby declare a sale at the Ebooks Direct store. 50% off everything, today only until 23:59 Hawaiian time on Wednesday the 16th. the discount code BUMEYE. Go on in and get yourself a 3-book set of the Young Wizards New Millennium editions or the full original-YW-series 9-book set or a copy of CSI Alfheim or some fairy tales or something. Do.

If you saw this pitiable rant on Twitter, please do RT it if you can see your way clear. (OUCH, inadvertent optical pun, sorry.) If you saw it on Tumblr, reblog it if you like, it’ll be much appreciated. (OW OW OW this damn eye cold pack again). Knock yourselves out. I’m going to sit here with this squishy plastic dishtowel-wrapped thing against my face making me functionally useless, and practice cursing in Rihannsu or something.

…End of strop. Thank you for your continued support.  :)

(Dammit, what’s the point in being sick in such a way that you can’t even lie in bed and watch Sherlock DVDs successfully? Gaaaaah. …And this cold pack’s not even cold any more. What, did somebody leave entropy running again? Feck.)

  1. brightfell reblogged this from dduane
  2. stophelping reblogged this from dduane and added:
    Awesome book sale alert! Oh, and I guess the author’s sick. Gezundheit. But books! (In all seriousness, feel better! We...
  3. willowglade reblogged this from zahnie
  4. zahnie reblogged this from dduane
  5. queenmonkeygirl reblogged this from dduane and added:
    I love Diane. You should all read her books.
  6. book-junkie007 reblogged this from dduane
  7. pohutukaryl reblogged this from dduane
  8. sylleptically reblogged this from dduane and added:
    I love the Young Wizards books so much. And I really like this buy-from-the-authors DRM-free store. I just bought about...
  9. nomette reblogged this from brsis and added:
    I strenuously second everything said here. I am about to go on like a three book buying spree (I already own the first...
  10. brsis reblogged this from zalia and added:
    'so you want to be a wizard' was one of the big books of my childhood - one of the ones that punches you through the...
  11. musical-chan reblogged this from dduane and added:
    Awww, hope you feel better.
  12. aprillikesthings said: I had pink eye last spring. It’s AWFUL. My condolences.
  13. really-quite-tremendous reblogged this from dduane and added:
    Awww, poor Diane! *pats*
  14. aventinemintha reblogged this from dduane
  15. ailbhe-leamy reblogged this from dduane
  16. doc--rokstar reblogged this from mitaukano
  17. amberfoxfire reblogged this from dduane
  18. naside said: Oh my good lord that sounds painful. I do hope you get well soon, DD! Being sick is never fun. DX
  19. ellaisplotting reblogged this from tinsnip
  20. mitaukano reblogged this from dduane and added:
    Do what the good lady asks if you can!
  21. mitchyuk reblogged this from dduane
  22. madammistress reblogged this from dduane
  23. speakingintothevoid said: Oh god I hope you feel better soon!
  24. independence1776 reblogged this from dduane and added:
    Okay, this is the point where I’m seriously tempted to download “Nook for Mac” and buy the NMEs even though I don’t have...
  25. ryface-disused reblogged this from dduane and added:
    $9? Already funded The Posterchildren but...the new editions
  26. tinsnip reblogged this from dduane
  27. jenesaispourquoi reblogged this from dduane and added:
    Feel better soon, DD! The rest of you, click through to find out about 1/2 off books!
  28. izzybeth reblogged this from dduane
  29. wintergrey reblogged this from dduane
  30. jenly-bee said: Aw, I hope you feel better soon! And thanks for the sale! I’ve been waiting for an excuse to snag the New Millennium Editions. <3
  31. tysolna reblogged this from dduane and added:
  32. galadryels reblogged this from dduane
  33. kediil-eperu reblogged this from dduane and added:
    Oh, man. Pinkeye is the WORST WITH AWFULNESS. Someone go buy some stuff and cheer her up, yo.
  34. wyldangel-cant-wake-up reblogged this from dduane
  35. literalbookworm reblogged this from dduane and added:
    Hahaha only a writer would write THAT much about being sick and unable to do anything. In other news, all her books are...
  36. kayquimi said: Oh, that sucks terribly. Since watching’s out, you could listen to that audio play with Cumberbatch? Or just about anything with Hiddleston, I think there’s files of him reading poetry or some such lovely things… *hugs non-germily*